I thought things were getting better for me and my husband, but not after tonight. Decided to get brandy and said he was only taking a few shots, ended up drinking half the bottle. When he wanted more I told him no your already drunk enough and so he threatened me by saying if you don’t give me my bottle I’ll drag you out of the car and I’ll punch you so hard in the head you won’t wake up. He didn’t got me but kept acting like he was going too. His brother drove us home. Once we got home he asked for his bottle and I told him no you had enough tonight then he gets mad and demands I give him his bottle because he paid for it so I said then you can sleep on the couch so he said ok I go downstairs to get water come back up find him in our room. I told him I can’t do this anymore. Obviously he’s too stupidly drunk to realize what that means so he tried seducing me and I wasn’t having it I told him id tell my dad who was getting him alcohol and he said I’ll kill you if you do that. I’m like yep ok. Then he goes back to trying to have sex with me and I tell him no I said go drink your bottle because you love to drink more than anything. He got mad and acted like a kid saying go away. ¬†Finally I came to bed and he kept trying to get in my pants and I didn’t want to do anything so he kept trying and I kept taking his hands away but he still kept trying and trying and finally he stopped as soon as I started crying and he fell asleep. More went on tonight but I don’t really want to discuss it at the moment. I though he changed. I thought he was done with this shit but nope back at getting black out drunk again. He’s so immature it’s like dealing with a whiny kid who wants it there way or no way. Alex is the most selfish person I ever met. My ex jake would get anything for me he bought me bracelets food, brought me to movies, he’d always make sure I was good and that I needed anything he’d get it. Sometimes I miss jake. But he hates me and has a different girl now that he seems happy with so I’m not going to ruin his happiness. I hope he eventually breaks up with her and tries to talk to me again :/ I miss being treated like an “angel” as he used to call me. I no way in hell regret having Caleb he is the light in my life the reason I smile and want to be a better person and do everything I can for him to be healthy and happy. I just wish I never married Alex. I wish once he was in pawtucket I didn’t bother with him anymore. Because jake invited me over a couple of times while I was pregnant. I should have went. Ugh he treated me so much better than anyone ever has. Yea we’d argue and he’d tell me things that would upset me but he was honest with me no matter what. Alex lies, and hides things from me. Jake never yelled at me. Never hurt me physically and always made sure I felt loved and good. I miss him. A lot. But it’s too late now to get him back. All I have left of him are my memories. :/ he even said he wanted a future with me the day before he broke up with me. It was my fault we argued I shouldn’t have accused him of trying to flirt. I am still not over him I don’t think I ever will be. He was my first actual real love. And I fucked it all up by me being crazy insecure. Ugh if Alex ever started straightening his life up and stop drinking for good than id feel a little better but he can’t be so mean and I hate when he yells and I hate when he swears in front of Caleb. I hate when he’s mean to me I hate how he doesn’t put any effort in our relationship anymore because he thinks since we are married he can just do whatever now expecting me to be ok with it. Well I’m not. I’m so done with my husband. I’m really done. Goodnight

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