Here, in this journal, if for some miraculous reason someone is reading, there will probably be no holiday pictures, or life-changing, awe-inspiring moments.. however I will pour out my brain and heart to whatever I write and will use long words to make me sound intelligent:’)
Anyway, I’m a depressing, weird, bored, lonely teenage girl. I will soon be an adult and that doesn’t scare me one bit, bring it on. I feel more mature than most of the people I know anyway. I also really want to be independent and to be fair, the idea of smoking weed in a house where I’m not paranoid about my parents finding out will be great.
In life, my biggest fear is that I will never find my soulmate. This is a controversial topic, with a lot of people thinking that you have more than one out there. A lot more in fact. My brain agrees but my heart hates that idea. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.
If you don’t care, then skip this paragraph. But I’d like to describe my ideal guy. This is something I think about a lot. I like to know what I’m looking for and so when I find him I will know and not make stupid mistakes. I’ve spoken to a lot of people online (real life is getting disappointing), I can solidly say that the majority of attractive people (another controversial topic), are incredibly boring. CRAZY BORING. I can ask what music they like and they say “anything”. You’re basically just saying goodbye. The other type of guy is the one who answers with “whatever you’re into”. Well aren’t you funny. Now fuck off and find your own personality. UGH. (I’m using caps more now I’ve noticed, I’m getting into this journal!!) Okay, what next? He needs to be a stay up late and sleep in late kind of person. If you’re (should really be saying “he” instead of “you”, sorry about that but my brain and heart don’t anyways pour out correctly. It’s 4:14am aswell, shush you.) Wait, lemme start that bit over… If you’re the opposite of late and late then WHEN WILL WE TALK?? Just won’t work out. Okay, when picking out guys I see randomly in the street and asking myself what I think of them, there are certain things I look for. Black jeans = yes please. Don’t like flip flops, sandals or any other shoe like those:/ They have to have style and a confident pose. Also, SO ATTRACTIVE IS THE EYE CONTACT. Attractiveness is raised 130% if you can hold eye contact. Brown eyes have to be my favourite. I’m very specific when it comes to smiles. The teeth are so so so important, but I am so specific I don’t think I could even start on this topic. You would be bored out of your mind!
Actually, I shall continue with this another time, and more stuff that I want to unload. I am brimming with complicated stuff. As we all are I suppose though. I need to sleep now though. I’ll read this through another time, probably filled with spelling mistakes UGH.
Thanks for reading and if you actually made it this far, I am very impressed. Let’s be friends:’) -Amy
(Haha 4:20 blaze it)