Nervous

So tomorrow morning hopefully we are going to talk a little bit. I don’t know why but my mind always goes to the worst thing possible. But I keep thinking, and am scared to death you are going to tell me you don’t love me anymore, and think we shouldn’t be together… I hope to god this isn’t what you have to say. If it’s not, I really just want to talk about whatever, I want to know how you are doing. Really, I just want to start communicating with you a little bit… The last couple days, my mind has been getting stupid. I think I am getting impatient, because of unrealistic expectations or desires I have, which lead to anger. I have really had to put this in check, I can never get like this. I did this, not you, and I am working on your watch, not mine. And my head has been so occupied with these fucking pills, it messes up my judgement and my ability to deal with reality and emotions in a healthy way.  I have to get off these, bad. But anyway, these unhealthy feelings and thoughts I have been having is what prompted me to ask you to talk. I think maybe starting a little communication here and there may be good, but then again, it all depends on how it makes you feel, I don’t want you to feel rushed, uncomfortable, cornered, or anything like that. So we will see how tomorrow goes.

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