So I need to set some goals for myself, one of which is self discipline to actually stick to and achieve these goals. Obviously getting clean is my number 1. Some others are eating right, I need to actually buy food, and prepare meals for myself. Not just eat whatever the hell I can find. And I need to stop buying shit food, just going to buy stuff like eggs, veggies, tuna, decent snacks like yogurt, jerky and nuts etc. another goal is to get physically active, while I still don’t have my bike, I’m just gonna do some good ol pushups, sit-ups, maybe walk/jog etc. I think this will really help with getting clean too. I want to start getting my hair cut on a schedule, basically I need to start taking care of myself, regularly and not here and there. I think training in taking care of myself will help me greatly in taking care of the kids the way they should be. Another is getting more organized with money, we virtually have no bills right now, but still spend the whole stack. It has been nice doing things as a family, but there is no reason they can’t be budgeted and still save some money. You said something to me today that really stuck with me, that you need to not worry about making me happy. A light bulb kind of went off when you said that, I think I understand what it is we are doing now. And I think it can lead to a great life for both of us, someday if we both truly are happy individually, we could have an absolutely amazing life together. But I am done worrying about that right now, it’s time to get serious, find a counselor, deal with my issues, work on these goals day in day out, and get on with living life!