Of being a first timer among all firsts

Yesterday was just surreal. No — it was real and it did happen, probably that first time high for me as what they say, probably just the best that it refused to fade in my mind even a day after.

Back track to three years ago, when I started fangirling over her, I never thought that I would get to see her in person. Being in mid-twenties, I guess I am done with that phase of fangirling. At least, that’s what I thought. Bacolod was just too far and hospital work hours were too consuming, so I would just content myself following her teleseryes & guestings (I went straight on duty for 6 days to get a day off in time for Walang Hanggan’s finale hahaha!), watching her vids on YouTube — even downloading them. Off duty days would mean Walang Hanggan marathons, flailing over and over again. I even called myself half-nurse, half-fangirl. And yes, like we all do, I called her, ‘Mama’.

But yesterday was different. She was there in true human form, right in front of me. My mind was racing when I was called for my turn. I cannot contain myself and I wasn’t prepared. Hell who will ever be, when she’s right there, looking so immaculate in a Maroon top and jeans, welcoming you, patting the empty seat beside her, smiling sweetly, teeth as white as alabaster. I sat and she said “Hi”. I was too shy or too overwhelmed. I don’t know. I looked at her eyes and I was lost. They were so divine. I felt like I had to explain myself, so I said, “Hi po, I’m sorry my Tagalog is quite awkward because I’m from Bacolod, I have this ilongga accent but I just have to say this, ‘Gwapa gwapa sa imo’.” And she laughed because I know, she knows what ‘Gwapa’ is. But gosh, beautiful is an understatement already. I wasn’t aware I was speaking in my native tongue by then. She then asked me, “So, did you just come here for the film?” Darn, where did my tongue go? I was unable to speak.

I asked permission if I could kiss and hug her which, she gladly said yes to both. The hint of her cologne whatever it is, was so intoxicating that again she lost me there when she asked, “Did you just come here for the film?” I was too dumbfounded. Too lost for words. Too lost by the moment itself. Too star struck. I lost my moment with Dawn Zulueta.

The last thing I remembered was, asking for a selfie. She gamely posed. God knows, how cold-clammy and shaky my hands were. Even my lips. Oh my God! I thanked her and she said, “Thank you too, Dear”. And I swear that very moment I felt like fainting already. Imagine, the heart of your fangirl life just said that.

But aside from that moment, after regaining myself and composure, what really drew my attention was after the photo op. There’s much more to her than just a pretty face. She’s more than that. She ate cinema food — hot dog on stick and drank cola like a regular person, sans any traces of who she is. She was that simple. She was slightly mobbed as everyone were trying to get a hug or glimpse for the last time but all you can hear from her was, “Awwwh, Thank you, I love you all too!”. She hailed an escalator because for some reasons the elevator wasn’t available and the girls much younger than me, was calling out “Mama Dawn!”, she waved at them even gave them flying kisses. That simple appreciation was enough for me to realize that yes, I did choose the right person to look up to. Not just the way she looks or dress but that innate kindness and gratitude she genuinely shows to the fans. She is real. Despite the name and fame, she is so grounded and that what makes her more beautiful. She gives back that is why she is truly blessed. She has a good soul.

Sorry Mama, I wasn’t able to answer your questions though you asked it twice already. I don’t know what happened, maybe that was my #ultimatefangirlmoment.😂 First timer’s mishap, I guess. I don’t know if I will ever get a chance to see you again hence, I still can’t promise not to flail because I’m certain I will. But I think I found the answer to your question, “Did you just come here for the film?” 

No, it wasn’t just for the film. I came here for you, Mama.❤


P.S. Thank you Ms. Vivs for the instax photo and for the opportunity. It was so nice to see you, po. Opo, ako po yung hindi makapag salita kahapon. Hahaha!😂 To the Club admins (most esp. Ate Sweet ❤), thank you for being so accomodating yesterday. I will forever be grateful.😊

Leave a Comment: