Always a babysitter, never a mom

I’ve spent my whole life avoiding becoming pregnant.  I wanted to do it right.  Find the perfect guy, settle down in a career, get married and then have babies.  I’ve done all of that, except the baby.

It’s pissing me off that my friends are on number 3 and don’t seem to have any trouble getting pregnant.  They seem to have a carton full of perfect eggs and mine feel spoiled.  My husband and I have been trying for over a year with no success.  For the first time in my life, I feel like a failure.

I’m sick of peeing on sticks to determine if it’s a good time for sex.  I dread getting my period because it’s a week long of knowing I’m not pregnant and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I know there are others like me, but right now I feel like I’m the only one.

One thought on “Always a babysitter, never a mom”

  1. I’ve been there! Tried for over a year and a half. Do you know when I got pregnant? When my life had changed and I felt unsure about whether I still want it or not.

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