Maybe I should have broken contact immediately, but I didn’t want to lose him. I just kept hoping that over time my crush on him would subside, making room for the possibility of a friendship.
The weekend after our first meeting in the capital, he wrote to me in Skype….
“Are you there?”
“Yes, I am now. Just came home from the lab.”
“Oh, now I remember. You told me you had to work today.”
“The reason I wrote to you… I thought about visiting my family next weekend and while I’m there I could borrow a car and step by at your place.”
“How far is it? I don’t want you to drive too far just because of a short visit to me.”
“About 40 minutes by car. Not too bad.”
“40 minutes is rather far. Are you sure I shouldn’t come and pick you up at your family’s place?”
“I don’t think it would be any closer in the other direction.”
“Really, I don’t mind. I also checked the trains, but I wouldn’t be any faster than driving to you from the capital by bike.”
“No, it’s not about that.”
“Ok, I’ll make it quick and painless.”
“I am afraid of you not wanting to visit me anymore once you find out I have a boyfriend.”
“Now it’s out”
Four minutes passed…
“To be honest, i was indeed hoping for more than a platonic friendship. However, this wouldn’t be the case if I didn’t like you and wanted to spend time with you anyway.”
“I am so sorry. I was feeling so bad about it for the past weeks.”
“Don’t worry too much about it. I still want to see you, if it is ok for you.”
“I’m gonna be offline for some minutes, I need time to get down.”
“I’m free next Saturday.”
“But would it be ok for you if I was going to visit you? First of all I have a car and I would also feel better.”
“If you prefer it i won’t protest.”
“Could you give me your address?”
“It looks on the map as if I was located on an island.”
“It kind of is. It is surrounded by rivers.”
Seven days later I parked my car in front of an old villa.
“This is your house?!”
“It belongs to my family. My aunt and cousins live here too.”
He lead me inside and I took place on the couch in his father’s part of the house, while he prepared lunch for me. We spent the afternoon playing video games and later, after his father returned home, we talked about our families. I learned that he has four half-siblings and – due to some divorces and remarriages – a very interesting family tree.
We ended up having dinner with his aunt, cousins, father and grandma. It was a little weird, because to them it must have felt like I was being introduced to the family. Still, I like family gatherings, especially when it involves me getting to know new people.
Before leaving I hugged him good bye, keeping hold of his hand while we talked some final words, and only let go while turning away, when it got out of my reach. I didn’t look back this time either.