I knew it would come. I knew it coming but because I am happy not thinking about it coming, I left it as it is. And now that it comes, here I am cold and broken. I don’t want anyone to know. I hide everything in my smile and in my laugh. They don’t know that I’m breaking inside and it won’t be whole again. It sucks to the nth power. I am not used to tell them what I fell but I am not used to bear these heartaches too. I can only rely unto my tears and hoping that by letting them flow, it will be lessen inside. I think I am in a comatose stage where yeah I’m breathing but slowly dying, I’m peacefully sleeping but I am crying. I think it will be over now. This is how it feels to miss someone meant something in your life, someone who became part of your life but sadly not in your heart and not in your destiny. But changed your life and the way you see it. It sucks but it’s over now. I knew I will soon be recovered but soon is when? I want to do it right then and there but I can’t when I always see him happy with his friends the way they used to be when I’m not in here. I should be used to on things that I knew where I should be. So pathetic, right? I hate the most when I feel pity towards myself when I knew I shouldn’t be. Bullshit heart. I hate feeling this way on someone who didn’t feel the same. Because I am not used to this. Life goes on and on. I am broken now. I will be broken tomorrow. So what? What’s the big deal?

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