Thunderstruck.  AC/DC.  It’s been in my head lately.  Great song to get you going. I have it in my music and I’ve been playing it a lot.  It explains the feeling that I had when L came into my life. I knew him professionally. There was interest personally but no action was taken. He left the area. Good. Very good. But….a few months later he came back. And I was…wait for it….thunderstruck. It was bad. Bad for everyone.  Worst of all for me. I was so lonely. Except for the brief exhilarating times that L and I spent together. I was desperately lonely. That was nearly 6 years ago. And he still has a hold on me. Or is it that I just refuse to let go of him? And he of me? Our lives go on. Every so often the spark is fanned and we continue our virtual/electronic carrying on. Why? To what end? This: It makes me feel wanted, attractive, young. That I mean something to someone. Still after all this time has passed, I can’t make myself understand that it is all not reality. Reality is this: I am a woman of average beauty, intelligence, size. I have an average husband and 2 average children. It’s all very safe and secure. Most days that is good enough. But what about those days when it’s not? Those are the days when my mind wanders to places that I want to go. People I want to be. To L.

Its’ just a fantasy

It’s not the real thing

Sometimes a fantasy is all you need


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