I always tell everyone that a year from now everything will be better but a year from now is not yet here and everything is still the same. My life is not has bad has most people’s but it is still my life and it is falling apart. There’s hat voice of doubt that comes out whenever you try to think of something good. I want to not be failing school but I am. I want a boyfriend but I don’t want to better myself so that I can get find one. I want to find a better so that I can provide a better life for me and my child but I don’t wan’t to go on interviews. I wish that one morning I could just wake up and say today will be a good day and it ends up being just that “a good day.” My cousins were here this weekend and most of the weekend I was MIA. My excuse was I had homework which I did but I didn’t do any homework because again i’m failing both my classes. When I did hang out with my cousin I actually had fun. I have this invisible wall were I justify not doing things buy using the fact that I don’t have money or by using my weight has excuses. I want to be better so that I can do better but I don’t. I’m so lost and no one in my family see’s that because I play the role so well.