It’s not your fault

written: August 12, 2014

This was written for a woman who faught hard to find me as i was already long gone down a dark distructive path. This woman is my mother Autumn.

I hate what it is. I hate seeing what has become. I mask all my feelings. I self medicate to stay numb. I hate that you gave up. I hate the disappointment in your face. The thing I hate the most of all is feeling out of place. I am sorry I let you down. I am sorry I pushed you away. I am sorry my addiction had ruled my life in such a way. I will love you always. I feel as though you cannot say the same. I will never have hate towards you because I know I am the one to blame. I hope you can learn to forgive. I am beyond greatful everyday. It was a long drawn out battle. The Lord helped me find my way. I know I cannot erase the past. Although at times I wish I could. If I had a chance to change it. Without hessitation I hope you know I would. I hope you don’t blame yourself. You are the greatest mother I have seen. I was not strong enough to say no. As the addiction strongly took hold of me.

— Megan Grace

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