Where Am I Today…

I’m so tired. But as instructed I will sit back and reflect on where I am, overall, in life. Because I’m not too sure how this is going to flow I’m gonna number my thoughts:

  1. Im officially at peace. I had to let go of some things, some situations, some people, and my job in order to really be able to say that. I don’t wanna say I don’t care anymore but I will say that dismissing the things I can’t change has really worked for me. As an Aries women I’ve always said either you will love me or hate me. For some there really is no gray area. I’m truly ok with that.
  2. I think about how I’ve grown over the short period of time that I’ve openly embraced the way I’m living. I went from being completely clueless about myself to knowing me and being able to see through the bs as I had outside of the life. Id been accused of being in sub frenzy when I wasn’t. Guys who really weren’t about my well being have come and gone. I’ve still never been collared. But I’ve grown. I never seem to be given the credit that I deserve but who needs credit when I know myself. Idk…I’m just rambling.
  3. Then I become involved with a person I never ever thought I would. Let me take that back. I’ve become involved in a situation I never thought I would. Situation meaning the possibility of being in a poly relationship. I’ve gone over this in my head a thousand times and it’s surprising the hell out of me that I’m giving it any thought. I am a baby girl. I want all of Daddys time. I don’t want to share it. But..I can actually see how this could work. Maybe because my twin is involved. Even more so because he is…well…different. I consume his energy and I feel like I am the only one. Nothing else about the situation bothers me. I want to call him Daddy one day. I want him to be the one I worship. I want him to see me in an even better place because he watched my journey and helped me get there. I wanna see him smile. I wanna giggle. Nothing else matters. I just feel the need to consume all of him. And if given the chance there won’t be any fear of a situation. More like faith in a family. I know I can do this, and if I’m proven wrong I will not regret trying.

So that’s where I stand. As random as all.of those thoughts are, that’s where I am in life. Let’s see where I end up.

~Autumn

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