On Easter weekend the Witcher and I met again at his family’s place. After some initial small talk we went upstairs to the former room of his sister, who had recently moved out, and took a seat on the couch.
That’s when he made his second mistake. Yes, i had told him I wanted to talk it over, but I never imagined him being so direct. Regarding the delicate situation I was in he should have beat around the bush a little or address the issue more casually. It was really difficult for me and he either didn’t see it or just didn’t know how to deal with it. Hell, even a kiss straightaway would have been better. Suprise kisses are something I can handle since I had a few in my life. But he confronted me right away, looking me straigt in the eyes. “So, you said you wanted to talk.” I felt like a cornered animal and couldn’t utter a single line. In my arms was a yellow cushion to which I clung tightly. “Then let me start. I want to be together with you and I don’t care for the modalities.”
“I … I want too … but I also don’t know if I can … I mean… you know I won’t leave my boyfriend …. I … I don’t know how we can possibly…” I was at a loss for words. Mercifully he changed the subject and handed me some tea he brought me – a special mixture containing rooibos and lemongrass and some spices which has since become my favorite flavor of tea. We then went on talking about little things and finally I said I had to go because I was expected back home for dinner at 8 pm.
“Well, we still have some time then. Don’t you want to use it?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I knew. Inevitably I bit my lip.
“I think you know exactly what I am talking about.”
And he leaned over me to kiss me.
It was… somehow innocent, elusive. Not at all like the kisses I am used to. More like how you kiss a good friend. Still, he was more than a good friend to me, so I was feeling overwhelmed and pressed him away from me to get a chance to get up from the couch. I started pacing the room but after some strides he was standing next to me and took me in his arms. I beat my fists against his chest. “How can you do this to me?!” He just smiled and hugged me tighter. I let my gaze wander aimlessly over the room and sighed.
“I’ve always wanted a boyfriend with a sister.”
“Well then. I have two.”
“I really have to go now.”
He brought me to the door and kissed me once again, still disturbingly innocently.
After some steps I turned back and saw him still looking at me. I smiled and continued my walk to the car. There, 50 paces away from the house, I threw a final glance back and saw his silhuette still immobile, leaning against the door frame. Though I was unable to see it, I could feel the gaze of his dark eyes fixed on me. This is how I see him whenever I close my eyes. He will always be the man standing in the open door, silently awaiting my arrival or watching me leave.