Yesterday I found out the world was ending
A little more
Falls apart and
Slips away, well
I don’t mind
Wish it didn’t
Have to end this way
I guess I should start out with a little about myself. I will not name myself, but you will probably assume it in time. I’m an 18 year old female at an alternative school in the middle of Georgia. I was supposed to graduate in May, but i’m still stuck here. It sucks so much because I know that I’m smarter than this. My friends somehow pushed themselves through high school, but i’m too depressed to even wake up in the mornings. I’m disappointed in myself, but also jealous. They’re always having more fun than me.
I have to take 4 pills to get me through the day. I’ve been diagnosed with debilitating anxiety and addictive personality disorder. My medication helps me think normally instead of self-loathing, but sometimes my unmedicated brain kicks in and tells myself that I’m better off dead, that it’s not okay to forget my problems by using drugs and weed, and that I should have never been born for being a product of rape, an ethnic young girl who’s too Americanized to even learn her country’s language, a narcissistic, negative nancy.
If I could disappear, I would. If I could just not wake up tomorrow, all of my wishes would come true. I can’t stand the world I live in. I can’t stand anyone around me.