3rd September 2015- Last Day Of Summer

Don’t worry you won’t be getting a new post everyday I will probably end up only doing these once a month or maybe even less but today is the last day if summer. I know it says it’s like Wednesday or something on the bit where is says when this is posted but it’s not I don’t know where it is Wednesday but I would love it to be yesterday again. It 3:39 and I am freaking out. We go back to school tomorrow and I go into year 10 which means I’m starting my GCSE’s which means anxiety goes even more mental than usual which means a lot of panic attacks which means a lot of unwanted attention and stares. So yeah who doesn’t love back to school…no one at school likes me I have literally seen 5 people throughout the summer and I don’t want to see anyone else I wasn’t even looking forward to seeing most of them. It’s really bad. I don’t know if I have written about my anxiety on my last post but yeah in case you hadn’t gathered already I do suffer from anxiety and when I say suffer I mean suffer; It controls me. I can’t do anything without getting anxious or panicky about it and I hate it so much when people fake anxiety like it’s not a fucking joke you don’t know what it’s like. I can’t order my food in a restaurant or café, buy things from a till, get my hair cut or even simply saying excuse me or asking someone to pass me something without panicking. Faking mental disorders is sick. So as you can imagine school is literally hell on earth for me not because I hate learning but I hate all the people and the whole concept of everything surrounding it. People think I over-react and do it for attention and just need to grow up but seriously no never say that to a person with anxiety because you have no idea how hard it is to get through the day in one peace. Ugh some people sicken me… getting nervous before an exam or before a big even does not count as anxiety like seriously! Do you suffer with anxiety or know anyone who does? Let me know if you have any stories or anything.

Oh and I am not sure if you can reply to here but you can always dm me on my Instagram @_society.will.kill.us.all_ I write my own quotes so yeah go ahead i’m always here .

 

That Girl <3

 

Relatable song of the day: Lullaby by Professor Green

‘Sick of pretending to be so happy
All the while my anxiety’s away at me
My skin crawling, I look up to the sky
And it falls, the walls close in and it’s
As if all the good in my life disappears
In an instant, that thing is just so distant
So seeing the ones who I love, the ones who love me
But I don’t wanna tell em how I feel in case they judge me
It’s just me, wish I could let somebody in
But I ain’t ever been too trusting’

5 thoughts on “3rd September 2015- Last Day Of Summer”

  1. Hello justthatgirl… I don’t know whether i am the sort of person that you want to hear from or not but i totally understand what you mean about how anxiety can change your life … even the people that claim to understand like close families can actually make fun of it or try to make a light of it at times and they have no clue at how negative that feels …
    my Anxiety has strong links to accute OCD but of them heightening the other its like a vicious cycle that i have to deal with every day , the more Anxious i am the more OCD habits i accumulate and then once i have them if i don’t do them or cant do them i get so anxious that i feel like i’m burning up inside like there is a heavy fiery pressure all over me like i’m going to burst and i start shaking uncontrollably and cant strop and then comes the hyperventilation i get hives a lot now too if i get into this stage of an attack … i just want you to know you are not alone and there are among the pretenders and the people who don’t get , people that truly do feel your pain … i hope that you find a way to battle on … maybe you could look up healthy minds and see if they have any work books you could work on in private to help you understand what is happening when you panic a little more so you may learn ways of controlling it … the work books aren’t a magic cure but they did help me a bit with coping mechanisms …

    hope school goes o.k

    Q~M

  2. In a way im glad you can relate but Im sorry you have to go through it im so glad someone else understands it though. i hope you get better soon aswell if you ever want to talk feel free. im shocked someone has actually read this if im honest!

  3. I was just scanning if i am honest and then your words just jumped off the page at me , made me feel just like you upset for you but at the same time a little comfort that there are actually others like us out there … i don’t know whether it will comfort you but it comforted me when the other week my GP finally said to me
    “you need to ignore anyone who is telling you this is just a state of mind , you need to shake yourself out of it … at the end of the day if some one got cancer would someone tell them to shake it off ? … no they wouldn’t dream of it because it is an illness , what you are going through right now is not something you can shake off because it is an illness too, and although that sounds scary the glimmer of hope is there is a cure and lots of different types of prevention and cure not just tablets to help you through your illness and you will get better ”

    sounds strange but it did make me feel a little better to look at it like that , maybe it will help you a little too

    if ever you need to talk i am here too you don’t have to be alone

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