Dear (I still haven’t come up with a name for you),
This week has been good so far. I mean, other than the fact that nothing good ever happens to me if I try. It’s when I stop trying that anything remotely good happens in my life. Take this week for an example: I found a church and a youth group I wanted to try out. I thought it would be a good idea if Austin and I could go together. That way we would each know someone there. So after a lot of arguing, he finally gave in and went with me. Well, I had gotten the idea that I wanted to be on the worship team and play guitar or sing with the band, but of course, I had another obligation to a yoga class (that also turned out to be a bad idea) the same night as the auditions. So what happens? Austin gets to go and audition for the worship team instead of me. Something he didn’t even want. And the worst part? He nails the audition and I can’t be happy for him. I am too busy being angry and hurt and jealous and I just can’t be happy because he didn’t even want this in the first place, and then he didn’t even try, and he got to be happy. He got what he wanted I guess. Now I am stuck being bored while he has rehearsals and performances. I was supposed to have yoga and that failed. Then I was supposed to be on that stage and that failed too. What am I supposed to do if he keeps taking all of the opportunities that I wanted for myself? Am I just expected to not have any opportunities to myself anymore now that we live together? I don’t think so… considering he gets to go do what he wants without me. Why can’t I have that? Why can’t I have just one thing that is mine and only mine? Away from him and everyone else?