I am finding more and more like i have mentioned in my previous mammoth post that the people that you expect not to hurt you or do things that make you cry will , a lot !!! but what i am also coming to understand is that the deal that it becomes is all down to you … You attack someone over every little thing that they do to hurt you thoughtless or otherwise and each little thing that they did will probably become a big row … but , if you take it in , think about it from all sides and figure out the reasons why these things have been done against you , like they just didn’t think , or like they just don’t see it as something that is that bad , or even that actually its maybe not the biggest thing in the world and it is actually your insecurities that are upsetting you its something deep inside you that is upsetting you … maybe then you can take that thing for the little thing that it actually is and not the big thing that you make it in your mind , ignore it and move on , i’m not saying that it will be easy , i’m not saying that you wont still hurt on the inside but , if you unsettle a speck of dust it doesn’t take long for that speck of dust to settle and more than likely go unnoticed … if you bomb a city , it takes months of rebuilding and leaves a huge mess behind that even when cleaned up will not be forgotten by you or by others … i by no means am saying that it is o.k for people to hurt you are do things against you , but what i am saying is measure it up , think about it hard , and really think about whether the fall out is worth it before you wade in all guns blazing and end up feeling ten times worse than what you could have done if you just let it slip you by ….
i am trying really hard to be a better person … am i making myself into a pressure cooker i don’t know … but does any body out there think that maybe i am on the right path ?
One final thought , to have people in your life that you deeply care about or have feelings for whether they be of hate or of love is a massive factor of what makes you human , without caring , you wouldn’t get hurt …. don’t give up your humanity for the sake of feeling numb… no one wants to be alone .