ORANGE

What do you get when life squeezes you?

Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why? The answer, is because that’s what’s inside.

It’s one of the great lessons of life.  What comes out when life squeezes you?  When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing—your mother, your brother, your children, your boss, the government. If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.

When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.

– Wayne Dyer

What did I got when he squeezed me? When he cheated and left me for someone else? For sure I didn’t got orange juice, what I got tasted more like a rotten/bitter/sour flavor… I felt hurt, sad, jealous, angry, disappointed, and at this point not only towards him but to me as well, I couldn’t understand anything, I felt that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough or loving enough to keep him in my life, that no matter what I did I couldn’t make him love me and respect me, I felt that I didn’t deserved to be loved, I felt replaceable, I didn’t like to think that everything between us had been a lie. I felt used and disrespected in so many ways. I was really mad at him, for doing this to me. For making me feel like this. I wasn’t the strong woman that I thought I was, I was more like a child lost in the forest, scared to death, feeling abandoned and cheated on, feeling used, feeling like no matter what I do I’m not good enough, I’m not being loved by the man I loved.

When I realized all the things I had done wrong, all the bullshit and lies that I had put up with, all the signs of him cheating that I choose not to see, I got so mad at me, for being so afraid, for behaving like that, for not standing up for myself because I was afraid to loose him. I became my worse enemy, Instead of treating me with love and compassion, with understanding, with patience, I saw something else to hate me for.

No, I didn’t got the sweet flavor of orange juice, what I tasted was more like poison. But the fact here is that if I hadn’t respond to this situation like I did, it would not had affected me in such hurtful way, I mean I know it would be hard for everybody to be in an experience like this, but I made it worse, the lack of self love was what came out of the squeezing, if I felt not good enough after he left, was because inside of me, that feeling was already there, if I had been better aligned with my higher self, If I had know that his actions where not an statement about me, but more about him as a person, I would’ve had a different story, but I took it personal.

I am beginning to understand – consciously – that no one can hurt me, only me, for not being aware about who I really am, by resonating to his actions with this “lack of love” emotions. If I had known that I’m a valuable person no matter how other people act towards me, I would’ve had a different kind of juice.

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