I’ve never been able to keep a journal. I think the main reason is that there always seems like too much to say and not enough time to say it. Or maybe its the fact that I can’t constantly write everything I want to down on paper without my hand cramping, so I write it in dot points and therefore never really get out what I want to. The point is, in my life I’ve attempted to keep numerous journals and have never been successful. So, my next thought was to try and keep an online one. Less hand cramps and more time to type down what I thought.
It’s not really aimed at anyone, or really for anyone to read, it’s mainly just a place where I can write about what I think about, what troubles me, or anything really. My reasoning for keeping it public was to allow others to read it, if any, and just to see the inside of someone else’s life, someone they don’t know. There’s probably a large chance that no one will read this, and that’s fine. But if someone does and they feel that maybe they aren’t the only ones thinking what I do or whatever, then that’s one less lonely person in the world. But chances are I will be the only person skimming through these words.
So, the name. What’s in a name? Well, I chose my nickname for a number of reasons. Dreaming of Serendipity. The name all came about in my mind because I love that word. Serendipity. For those of you who don’t know what the word means, its pretty much a happy accident or something positive that happens by chance or fate. The word first came to me, when I watched the movie of the same title, Serendipity (2002) starring Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. It’s about two people who meet by chance and and within a few hours, sort of fall in love, but because they are with other people, they leave a possible relationship in the future or even reuniting up to fate. Not knowing each other’s names, they part ways and leave the rest up to fate. I guess you need to watch the movie to see what happens. But the thought struck me, the theory behind this doesn’t seem so bad. I have never been one to believe in fate or things happening for a reason, which is why I am a dreamer of the idea.
In the past I have been one to search for what I longed for. Mainly in the relationship department. When you’re young, friendships and relationships seem to come naturally. Mainly due to the reasons that there are a lot more opportunities to meet people when you are younger (highschool, groups you belong, university to etc). These give you every opportunity to meet someone, fall in love etc. But what happens if these relationships don’t work out? What if you finish school, uni or whatever and you find yourself alone? This is what happened to me. I woke up like it was another day with my girlfriend, and by the end of the day, I was alone in our room, re-reading a text message she sent me that said “I can’t do this anymore, you need to move out”.
From that day on (after a month or two of grieving and attempting to reconcile with no hope), I decided to try and find that someone that would make me happy. All attempts were pointless. The online dating websites, meeting people my friends suggested, and going out on the limb and asking people out didn’t get me anywhere. So I eventually gave up. I started to believe that the idea of serendipity didn’t sound so bad. I stopped trying to make something happen and just decided that when the time was right, it would happen. Hence the nickname. I’m constantly dreaming of serendipity.