Mourning?

What happens when the person, you thought was your best friend, is no longer that person?

How do you morn that loss?

How do you continue to live with that person?

How do you act like nothing has happened?

This is how I live on a daily basis. These are the questions that I ask myself. Why would you live with someone, who you clearly do not like, and don’t want any thing to do with?

Claiming that all I ever do is spend time with my significant other is rather hypocritical of you, so that can’t be the reason. I mean, if you wanna tell me I spend too much time on the phone, or on the computer with her then I think you have it wrong. I’m not as fortunate as you are, you get to see your boyfriend everyday, you get to go up to his room and cuddle, you get to eat dinner and he gets to tuck you in at night. If I was as fortunate as you are, then maybe I wouldn’t have to call on the phone or look at her through a computer screen.

Okay, so moving on to the next reason; you’ve replaced me. That’s okay. I’m fine with that. Clearly in some way I was deficient. I didn’t pay enough attention to you, I was too needy, I didn’t wanna hang out all the time. Oh well, I can’t pretend to be perfect, like you think you are in some way

I don’t want to live in this room anymore. I am done mourning the loss of our friendship. I’ve gone through all the stages of grief, and I’ve come out on the others side. So what does that mean? It means that this room I live in with you is no longer safe for me. I don’t feel comfortable here anymore.

That leaves me with; what am I supposed to do? Well at this moment there isn’t anything I can do. I’m stuck living here until I find an alternative or something changes. But I can no longer sit here and suffocate under your eye.

It’s time for me to do something about it, I suppose.

 

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