Realization

So tonight another random girl texted the boyfriend.. every single time it happens its like my heart breaks a little more. Lance always says man your ex really fucked you up! which i hate hearing cause its true. Lance and i are together all day everyday sep for when he works which he is the only tech here in our area so hes alone at work. he always ask if i trust him, i wanna say yes but my mind is yelling no no no!! ive come to the realization that hes right my ex did fuck me up and not only him almost everyone ive ever cared for in that way has… any crush i ever had since i was a young girl. i was raised with two older sisters who i believed were my full blooded sisters my whole life til i was 17 when my mom finally came clean and said i have a different father from them. which made a lot more sense they are tall skinny and very pretty, when im 4’10 got a little meat on my bones and definitely not as pretty as them. so of course any time i found someone i had a crush on or around any boys in general would always say damn your sisters are hot!! i just always feel there is always better then, i dont give myself enough credit, im pushing away a man who may really really love me for me cause im so use to being the right now girl til something better comes along. cause in my case theres always someone prettier, skinnier, funnier, ect ect. i just want to get the help or advise on steps to make me stop thinking this way. lance doesnt deserve someone whos constantly fights about friends of his who text him or whatever but i do feel he needs to be more honest with me when it comes to the girls who text him since almost all either are his exs orrr girls he has talked to at one point but never hooked up… i dont argee with that. i dont text no one besides my family. i dont believe theres any reason to talk to an ex i definitely dont talk to mine! just makes me insecure knowing he can pick his phone up anytime and be talking to a random ass girl…. well all for now!!

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