I’ve been singing and acting for around 3 years now, singing a teensy bit longer, acting a teensy bit shorter. Now that I have moved out of my childhood home and the country I grew up in and went to a boarding school, I have realised that my life sometimes feels…empty.
I loved going to my singing lessons on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Even though I might not have been in the best of moods, I always loved how the room smelt, how the microphones would smell a bit weird and how they were cold during the winter, and how I would joke around with my music teacher. I loved performing at concerts, contests and just anywhere where the opportunity arose. I guess in a way singing and being on stage gave me more confidence in myself.
Now that I am in a new school, I don’t have the same singing teacher anymore, and all of last year I did classical singing, because contemporary wasn’t available. I spent many nights crying over this. I felt that I had forgotten how I used to sing back at home, and that made me very sad, and my confidence dropped like a bomb. I still can’t get it to get back up as it was before.
I recently auditioned for a musical in my school. I have my singing audition on Wednesday, and I’m really scared but also really hopeful. I really want to get in. It’s a musical, with a lot of songs that I would absolutely enjoy singing and performing to. I think that would boost my confidence up a lot, and it would just make me happier in general. I really hope I’ll get in. I’m trying my ultimate best, now it’s just the agonising wait.
I just know that if I don’t get in, my confidence will drop to almost non-existence, and I know that will be followed by many nights of crying. And that’s the last thing I need right now.