So this morning things were looking up… Or so I thought. Today was suppose to be a good day. I was finally suppose to get my break and get called letting me know I’m officially starting (that didn’t happen). I thought maybe things would finally start getting better… I can feel myself fading into more of a depression. My fears feel like they’re coming true. I’m afraid that if I don’t start pulling In some money soon my boyfriend is going to get fed up and throw me to the curb. I’m sure there’s a handful of people wanting to be with him… People that actually have jobs. No matter what I tell myself I can’t shake that feeling. I’m not holding that against him (as long as we aren’t still together while he’s doing it)… But I don’t want him to. That stupid fucking drifting feeling is back again and I’m back to worrying about that on top of everything else.
I’m sick of feeling like I’m not good enough. I try my hardest. I feel like I always fall short. I wanna make you happy, I really am trying so hard.
I’m done writing right now… I’m goona attempt to stop crying and figure out… Something.
I wanna be happy… I want him to be happy with me.