9/16

Today we facetimed.. I poured my heart out to you saying I’d do anything to get back together with you. Proved that the day before without hesitation and still nothing. You’re right I was the first one to cave and text you but that just because of my dad and his stupid facebook comments, and yes they are stupid af. But that is the last time you’ll hear from me. I’m keeping my thoughts to this. No facebook messages, no texts, no snaps, no emails, nothing. You won’t hear from me and I mean that. Doesn’t mean I still won’t think about you or want you but I need to do this for once. I’m terrified of Christmas time because you said you’d want to meet up with me which right now I would but I’m terrified that you’ll bring her home with you. I just don’t get it because you’ve known her so little like how can she be this amazing and you already think the thoughts you do about commitment when you don’t even know her. That’s what I don’t get.. My heart aches still and I feel stupid af about all this. Cried to my brother and his girlfriend over text about this, it woulda been a phone call but I wouldn’t of been able to udder a single word. My entire face hurts from crying, like how is that even possible. There’s so much more I’d love to talk about and explain and whatnot but I’m literally so emotionally and physically drained from today that I can’t even keep typing. I’m gonna go to bed, curl up and actually go to bed before midnight.. I’m so over today it’s not even funny.

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