Blow jobs and dinner

So this is new for me. I haven’t journaled since I was a kid. I need an outlet though. I always have all these thoughts screaming in my head and no where for them to go. 

This started awhile back. We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 3. Our relationship has always been rocky. That’s what happens when two strong-headed people fall in love and have babies. Even after all we have been through I still love him. I’m just not happy anymore. I’ve been feeling this way for the past year and a half. 

The thing is I can’t leave him. I have absolutely no where to go. I have family but I’m estranged from all of them. If I’m honest with myself they have never really ever cared about me. I don’t even have anyone to talk to about this stuff. 

I’ll start with what happened last night. We hadn’t had sex in a few days and I came up to our bedroom to start getting ready to go out to dinner. He said he wanted to take me out because I’ve been working so much and still come home and make dinner and take care of the house and kids and whatever else needed to be done. He didn’t look for a sitter though so the kids were coming too. Which was fine. Anyways, he came up to the bedroom and started kissing me and telling me how much he wanted me and whatnot. He was really excited which made me excited because our sex life has been pretty dull and routine lately. I started teasing him by sucking his cock. He was getting frustrated and I told him that I didn’t want to finish because if I did then he wouldn’t want to have sex later. He promised me that wouldn’t happen, that the way he was feeling that night a blow job wouldn’t cut it. He wanted to “ravish” me. So I finished the blow job. I even let him cum in my mouth which I never do. Like never. So when went out to dinner and it was nice. We came home, put the kids to bed, and both got into bed ourselves. Then he rolled over and went to sleep. I was pretty pissed. 

Today I went to work and came home to a very messy house. He said his buddy wanted to kids to come over to play with his kids. Then immediately said “you don’t have to go though since you have to work”. After what he did last night and then making plans without me and leaving me by myself I told him how pissed I was. He got mad at me for being upset. This sort of thing happens a lot. I’m so tired of him being so damn selfish sexually all the fucking time. He knows that by time he comes home I’ll be asleep. 

-one unhappy wife

 

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