I feel so hurt and let down. I feel like I have failed. maybe Bianca isn’t the queen I thought she was. after all we’ve been through and how she saw me grow I really thought she would become just as strong minded as myself. we were so in sync like nothing could fuck us up. we split and she just becomes bitter and holds onto hurt like every other woman. my whole purpose was to help her grow and become a stronger individual. she’s so smart and has so much ahead of her but she should know just like me no matter happens in your life you have to remain faithful and always keep a straight face the devil will plot on you when he sees your weak a true solider of God is always ready for battle no matter what. and I just thought she was that strong. I can’t have my daughter see that. never should she let a nigga break her down this bad. my main goal is to help people become better people but I still don’t know how to make it stick in people’s brain. maybe it’s my fault and there was too many attachments but I was just as hurt as her when she stopped talking to me. but never will a fold. I’ve been through worse and there might be worse ahead I can’t be like others. I thought she was just like me. I swear we were the same. I just don’t know what happened to her. she did her best when she was with me and she won’t even jump to take me back. I just don’t understand people and their mentality. how can she understand me so well and not herself? I know it’s my fault but I didn’t want to fail like this. I’m so disappointed in both of us. we’ll just have to see what happens. maybe it’s just a woman thing but I will find a way to better everyone.