another day…

So, after a long and rough day at work… I came home to a sinkfull of dirty dishes. hungry kids. and as you pulled in the drive way, I scrambled to get out of my car; my heart raced, anxiety levels rise, not because of the excitement but fear. I heard you complaining dinner was not ready at 8pm. I worked until 630 and then picked up my daughter from practice. I had to hand wash dishes. I’m sorry.

as I stood cooking, your two young  biological asked if we could move away from you. this is not the first time. it won’t be the last. my heart is broken.  all I can do is hope things will improve. maybe. maybe not.

after dinner, which you didn’t even acknowledge the time or extra work I put in to it, you continued to ignore me. if you are trying to push me away, you are succeeding. very well.  I know you think because I have no living family that you can treat me like shit, but you are wrong. I have my kids. I have my friends in Oklahoma. you are not the only “man” in the world. I do love you but I deserve to be treated decently. as this day comes to an end, I can feel my anxiety raising because I know, you’ll be home soon.

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