Age does not determine hardships….

I know that life is not perfect. I know that no matter what, things will not always be the way you want them to be. It is hard to accept in certain situations but it is something that we cannot change. In all seriousness it makes me feel like a dinosaur took a huge shit on all my hopes. But hey man, what can we do? I know that i am ” Just a 17 year old ignorant kid with no real life experience” as adults usually say to those under the age of 21. But i have to strongly disagree. I mean yeah, i haven’t had the trouble of having a child, or paying hundreds of dollars worth of bills every month. But that does not mean i have not experienced any hardships in my life. in my life i have dealt with a lot of difficult situations. I have dealt with the loss of someone close to me, I have struggled with my mother walking out of my family and getting caught up in the horrible addictions that life brings into action. I have dealt with not having much food to eat, not getting to get school clothes or shoes. Watching my single father struggle to take care of three kids and knowing he feels like a failure because he couldn’t always get us the things that we want. I have seen things i never ever thought i would see. Not to mention things i am not sure if i want to say yet but maybe later i will get to that point. And believe me as you get older, although i am not that much older, things do get harder. I am currently the only girl in the house, my mother is an alcoholic that is currently living across the country, my dad is ill and working two jobs, my oldest brother is in prison, and i have another brother who yes did graduate but i think he is a bit confused on what he wants to do with himself, so at the moment he is 20 years old with a terrible eating disorder and just goes to work and plays video games. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving. Not because of religious reasons but because we haven’t done anything in so long that we just don’t do it anymore. It does break my heart into itty bitty pieces as the years pass but this is how it is and no matter how hard i try someone will have an issue with something. I don’t really care for the presents, nor do i care for putting up a tree, like hey its okay if we don’t do that but can we just sit down and spend sometime together instead of avoiding the whole day? Now i feel like i’m just bitching but really though. these things are serious to me. These things are hard to handle and these are some of the examples of life not always going the way you want it to. Age does not always determine your good and bad experiences. That is all i have to say for this entry. goodnight journal.

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