Today was truly stressful. I have realized that in the midst of everything going on, I am alone. Sitting here 2 days away from my birthday and realize that I have not accomplished anything I set out to when I was younger. I am learning that this thing called life is one big disappointment. This isn’t to say that I have not had happy moments in my life because I have, but only to have them snatched away. I am tired of being this depressed soul who has to fake being okay just to not answer questions. It seems as if even those who are open about their griefs are happier than I am. Not to sound cliche, but I am in a world full of people yet so alone. Everyone says that it will be okay and everything will work out, but when does this happen. As of yet, I have yet to experience it. As of yet, I have only had the universe tease me with the taste of what happiness could be. I’m ready for what is mine. I’m ready for this “okay” to get here! Here I am at 27 years old and am not sure who I am anymore. It seems like the older I get the more I think I have figured it out, but only to find that I’m more complicated than anyone could imagine. I wake up questioning why my grandparents left me here in this chaos. No I don’t want to kill myself, but I don’t want to be alone either. My mind and my heart are so fragile right now but grasp at every piece of happiness I can find only to realize that this bitch called life thinks this is a sick game. A game that I don’t want to play anymore!!!! I have striven so hard to not become so many different things that I didn’t take the time to strive to be the things that I wanted to be….can’t stop the tears

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