January 2014 floyed and I were living in separate houses, I was an hour away from where he lived. He still called from time to time.
January 31st was a hard day because it would have been our 7 year anniversary, but instead I went to work and went and got my hair done.
This is where life started to get a little crazy, I still worked Monday thru Friday 8 to 5, but on the weekends I was partying from Friday to Sunday, then I would do it all over again.
One night I was at Willies (the guys garage that was converted into a bar that all my family went to) and pierce walked in, and if you have read my other entries you know the back story on he and I. Well anyway we started talking and dancing and one thing let to another and there I was staying the night at his house. I don’t remember much just that we sat in his livingroom talking for awhile and then we went to bed, we ended up sleeping together. The only thought in my head the whole time was that I had known this guy since I was 13 years old and now here I was 25 almost 26 and we were having sex for the first time. After it was over I remember thinking the our relationship/ friendship would never be the same, the innocence was gone from it, we crossed that line and how this guy who had been in love with me for the last 12 almost 13 years had gotten the one thing that I had held out on him and know where was that going to leave us?
The next morning we hung out and everything seemed fine. I went back to my aunts house where I had been living and went about my week like nothing had changed. Pierce and I still texted during the week and I went to his house a couple of days, but we never spoke about us sleeping together and we never crossed that line again.
One weekend my aunt and I went to my cousins house and we were playing cards and drinking. My cousins friend smith was over there and we hit it off. When it was time for bed my cousin and his girlfriend slept in their room, my aunt slept on the couch and smith and I slept in the spare room. We started making out and one thing led to another. The next morning while we were all sitting at the table having coffee this lady showed up. She was middle aged and seemed nice. Smith left with her but had given me his number and told me to call him the next time I was in town and we could hang out. I thought wow maybe this guy likes me. After they left I asked my cousin if that was smiths older sister or mom. I was wrong my cousin told me that was his girl friend and that she knows that he cheats on her but she doesn’t care as long as he comes home to her. I was so mad, I felt betrayed by everyone in the house who knew that he had a girlfriend.
Time went by and it was late February and my birthday was fast approaching. Pierce and I didn’t talk as much mainly because a girl he knew was saying that she was pregnant with his child and I didn’t want anything to do with the drama. I started talking to a guy that was friends with my cousin we slept together a couple of times but there was nothing there. It was mainly a booty call relationship. He and I stopped talking right before my birthday.
The week before my birthday my friend Essner asked me if I wanted to go to Mardi Gras with her. We booked a hotel in the city, went shopping for new outfits to go out in that night. Another girl we worked with was also up there and we all met up that night. I was looking forward to having a girls night having fun with out a care. Well Essner and her ex got into a big fight and she was bummed the whole night which brought me down. We got back to our hotel room at 3am she went straight to bed and I stayed awake feeling alone. So I did it I made the call to floyed, he answered and we talked for a while. But there was nothing there, as bad as I wanted to feel something. there was nothing. The next morning we got up checked out of our hotel and headed back home.
My birthday came and went nothing big there. My aunt did try to make it special for me though. Her and my other aunt and a couple of my cousins came over and we had dinner and cake.
The weekend after my birthday we were all at willies again and there was a guy there who started talking to me. He seemed nice but something seemed off. We were all taking pictures and he asked if he could have one with me and I said sure so he snapped a picture of me and him with his phone, he then asked me if he could have my number so I gave it to him not thinking anything would come of it.
The next day he called me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him sometime, so I said yes and we made plans to go out that next weekend. I asked my aunt if she could help me find out more about this guy and she agreed.
Monday I went to work and got a text from this guy and it was him showing me a picture that his background on his phone was the picture he took of he and I a couple of nights ago. I thought it was really weird and creepy that this guy I had just met that all I knew of him was his first and last name was already putting pics up of he and I. So I decided to do a little digging on him. I logged into my facebook account and noticed I had a friend request so I clicked on it and it was him…. Ok I was really weirded out by this point. I clicked on his name and got it birthdate and started with a google search.
A article from the local newspaper popped up and as I read it I got more freaked out. It said that he and his uncle were suspects in a home invasion and stabbing the man inside multiple times. So I got on this website my state has for court and charge information and looked him up. Sure enough it was him he had been charged and had just got released from prison a month ago.
When I got home I told my aunt and she agreed that I did not need to go on a date with this guy. So I texted him and told him that something came up with work and I had to be out of town for the weekend for work. He texted back a picture of a dozen roses and told me that the flowers would die just like his heart, and that the ball was in my court now. (keep in mind that this was Monday we weren’t going out until Saturday, the flowers would have died by then anyway). I never said anything back to him, I blocked and deleted his number, blocked him on facebook and let Willies wife know what I had found out about him because I knew they didn’t want people like that hanging around over there.
By this time it was the end of the first week of march and my cousin texted me saying that he had someone he wanted me to meet that he was a friend of his. So I agreed and got his number. We texted for a couple of days and the following weekend I went to his house to hang out, well I found myself in his bed too. We never spoke again after that day.
I began to think if I was ever going to find someone else to be in a real relationship with again, and started to doubt my choice of leaving floyed, I know I was not in love but again at least I had someone.
My friend essner suggested that I try this dating site. I had never been on a dating site before and was kind of hesitant at first but I went a head and did it. I got many requests from guys but none of them seemed right for me. I came across a photo and profile of a guy who lived in the next state over but it was only about an hour away, and the best of all he had 2 children, what I had always longed for. I sent him a message and we began to talk, we exchanged phone number and talked every night until we fell asleep and texted all day while we were at work. After a week of talking and texting and sending photos, (no nudes tho) we decided that we would meet.
So on Friday March 21st 2014 I drove over to his house, I was so nervous I stopped at a gas station in his town and redid my make up brushed my hair put on perfume and made sure everything looked perfect. I called him to let him know that I was almost there. When I pulled into his driveway he was sitting on the front porch waiting for me, he walked up and met me on the sidewalk gave me a hug and said you are more beautiful in person.
That is where this entry ends and the next will begin, my first year with Marcum….