In December I attended a conference at the capital which lasted for two days. I spent the night on the couch of a friend from university. Snow White came up with the idea of me staying another night so we could go out together. After all, I would not reach my hometown until very late anyway, so why not stay and take an early morning train? After the last talks she still needed to tend to her experiments and dropped me at the institute. Confident that the Witcher would be there to entertain me I sought him out at his lab and took a seat. After a short chat he got up, saying he had to leave now.
“You have plans for tonight?”
“Actually I’m going on a date.”
“Haha… wait, you are serious?!”
“Yes. I asked out this student of mine on the last day of her internship.”
After all the thoughts I had spent upon getting him a girl, it had happened all by itself. I felt like falling – that icy cold, flashing white feeling you get when you hear very bad news and at first cannot believe it.
He was off within a few minutes, leaving me to myself.
“Of course I found other people to spend time with, but I didn’t want other people. I wanted him to spend time with me. I can’t believe it. He has always been there when I needed him. And why didn’t I hear anything about the date beforehand? Did he think I would not find out!”
“Calm down”, Snow White said, laughing.
“I don’t want some bitch to take him away from me.”
“I will write to him that you asked for details about her.”
“But I did not!”
“Oh, he doesn’t need to know that… What?? His response was >Snow White says she didn’t ask<! Oh, come on!”
“There there. Let’s find ourselves some food. There is this restaurant I always wanted to show you.”
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about this. Which, in t urn, bothered me even more. This was so unlike me! Confident people don’t need to be jealous! Was I in fact less confident than I though I was, at least when it came to him?
I was very disciplined in not bothering him for details, so he sent me a picture of her all by himself. I was his best friend after all. She looked exactly like the image I had created in my head and I disliked her even more. It was a portrait of a girl with straight blonde hair and a shy smile, looking shallow and boring. I got some details out of him by the following conversation… her name, where she came from, where they had been together…
It was none of my business, but being aware of this had no influence on how I felt. Worst of all was that I had stumbled upon that knowledge by accident. I am sure that had he told me before, I would have been nowhere near as furious. I always told him everything and now he didn’t deem me important enough to tell me about the girl he probably had a crush on. Speaking of that… how DID he feel about her? Was he in love with her? Was she important to him? Or just a potential way out of his loneliness. How could I blame him? He had not been in a relationship for a very long time. In fact, once he had confessed to me that the only woman he had ever been with had been the one cheating on her boyfriend, and that must have been some years ago already. Then there was me, and one could hardly have called us a couple. Not a very happy love life.
At first I felt angry, then helpless and finally only sad. She would enter his life, take away his time and be the one most important person for him, just as I had been.
The Knight was the only one to understand. “Of course you are upset. You are about to lose your favorite minion.” I love it when he thinks just like me, understanding me without the need for words.
One day, after I had brought my little girl to bed, I couldn’t help it anymore and burst into tears. We had planned to meet and have to some tea the following day, when I was to be in the capital for a social event, but right then I felt like I never wanted to see him again.