I’m sick I’m exhausted but can’t sleep cause Caleb’s also sick and has been waking up every 2 hours crying saying “ba ba” so I get him one he lays back down and drinks it while his eyes close. I am going to sleep after this but I’ll probably see if I have to pee first then sleep. I need to try and go into welfare tomorow since Alex doesn’t support me or Caleb he only supports his self and his needs and wants. I get no money, he’s he we here I’m not going to be living with him anyways once my parents move I’ll go with them. Idk where Alex will go but it’s not my problem because he doesn’t care and only cares about himself. I’m done being dragged along in this relationship it’s just not working out. He’s never here, he doesn’t go to his job which pays well maybe once it twice a week, just so he had enough for himself. Caleb’s allergic to these diapers I got on amazon they are called munchkin so I need to get different ones from the store tomrow, not like Alex gives a shit he’s going out again all day tomorow. I can’t wait until I’m free from him, I can’t wait until I don’t have to see him or talk to him about anything except for Caleb. He’s going to be paying child support for his first son and if I divorce him he will be paying for Caleb as well. I finally get to live my life. Do what I need and want without anyone holding me back. I’m excited for the future and what job I’m going to have and what college will be like. All Alex looks foward to is pot. Nothing else. That’s why it won’t work with us. We both want different things in life, he hasn’t matured to be a father or husband he’s still a kid who wants to hang with people everyday all day, smoking, drinking, having fun. Me I’ve matured I take care of Caleb all day everyday I feed him change him bath him and teach and play with him. I love being a mom it’s really amazing. Caleb is my favorite person in this whole world. I’ve never loved anyone this much before. I never knew what it was like to sacrifice but I do now and I love it I feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life.