So, I’m new to all this journal malarkey.. I’m terrible with writing about things. I couldn’t even keep it up with a diary after two days.. But, after thinking for a while now and reading about other people’s lives and how they, blog, or vlog, or even write a journal I thought i’d give it ago..
It might take me a while to actually open up about what goes on in my head but I guess that’s the whole point in this, learning how to open up.. I guess i’d start with today, today I woke up an hour after my alarm which resulting in me rushing around the house trying to get ready and get to work on time too save me getting rollocked off my boss. I managed it, I actually managed to get there before my boss did.. And even had time to spare to run across the road for a bacon barm and a hot chocolate! I then spent the next seven hours strolling around my extremely quiet and boring workplace due to the lack in customers that we have.. And as fun as this may seem not having to do ‘work’ as such, it really isn’t. I’ve had this same routine for the past eight days and it’s draining. It really is. Going to work was my escape from home. My getaway from the thought’s that go on in my head. A place where I don’t get time to think because of how busy we would be, but now because of the silence that creeps across the shop floor my thoughts are starting to get louder and louder as the day’s go by.. Kind of like today, I started the day rushed like I said but come say 7pm when I was sat at home after just finishing my tea my head was going to explode. I felt my eyes fill completely with tears, my chest was hurting, I felt sick. My mood was awful. The reason? I wish I could say.. I have that many thoughts going on in my head that I lose track of which ones make me feel what emotion. In a way i’m kind of glad that my mood went down hill, it pushed me into starting this journal. And yeah I know it might not make much sense at the moment but as the day’s go by and I push myself through each different day i’m sure ‘The Truth’ will come out sooner or later..
I suppose I best end this here for the day, not exactly the best of introductions but hey-ho!
I guess i’ll post again tomorrow, or when I next get time alone to get my laptop out in private.
Thanks for listening to the start of my journal.