Today I wanna apologize for hiding my feelings toward you for so long. Feelings r ment to be shared and with the place we were at they shoulda been brought up as soon as I realized them. I was just terrified of admitting em. Terrified bc I made so many mistakes I already thought we were over I thought y bring em up to just be shot down but ig that’s how it ended anyway. Like I said on ft i wish we woulda done stuff bc then I woulda been able to admit it faster.. Im mad at myself for abandoning you right before you left like I wish I woulda been there the whole time and the day u left I just sat at thought like god damn it miranda you messed up yet again.. I kept messing up and it just became a trap, something tht was hard to get out of. I thought if I lost josh id lose my friends too bc they r so connected and I need my friends but I now reliaze they’ll b there no matter if im with josh or not. Hell they’ll be more there for me then him most the time.. But anyway. It be clear. I had feelings all along. The time we did it right before I left for point, I had feelings. I still loved you. It killed me not meeting u before u left and tht wasnt entirely my decision. I regret letting people get into my head and control my actions. I had feelings in Georgia. I wanted to kiss u so bad the entire time I was, like I said before, terrified tht u wouldn’t want anything to do with me.. Looking back I was the stupidest person in the world. I was selfish, pathetic, lost and confused and none of those r a good excuse but thts the reality of things.. I’d go back in a heartbeat and tell u eveyday how I feel about u if it ment us being together rn. Id do anything to be in ur arms and all this is the 100% truth. Im sorry for ever not being 100% real with u bc when we had tht much time and love invested in eachkther y would we say anything but the truth.. My heart ached from holding in my feelings and now it aches bc I held em in for too long.. I was confused to no end and I just didnt know what to do. I wish I listened to people more, let my feelings take over and just start loving again.. I want nothing more than a relationship with you rn..I’m sorry for nit being open. I shoulda always been open no matter what the situation

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