Text:9/19

Today I wanna apologize for all the times I hung up on you. Looking back I wish I never did. I wish I sat there and talked to you until every little thing was worked out. I wish I wouldnt of ran from my problems. I now know I can’t just walk away from the right and expect it to be better, I learned that me walking away just makes it worst. Id do it because I’d get so easily frustrated and I just wanted to remove myself because I thought that’d be best but Ive reliazed I need to stay calm and finish the problem before it becomes a reoccuring argument bc if I walk away it never gives us a chance to make it better. I can promise you now if we ever got back together that’d id stay in finish the argument but at the same time I’d do everything I can do to avoid the augment in the first place.. I thought fighting was good to some extent n it is but I got carried away I now realize. If u were putting in the effort to talk, I should have too. I wasn’t thinking in the moment honestly that’s the best description. I let myself get caught up n id just panic. I wish I woulda stayed calmer through everything bc ik I’m horrible when it comes to overreacting.. So for every call sent to voicemail, every call ended early, and every time I turned my phone off Im sorry. Never again will I do that but who knows if ill ever have the chance honestly unsure emoticon… being apart from you, all we ever had was phone calls so I shouldn’t have taken those for granted. I shoulda treasured them all, even the ones that lead to fights. Bc even when I was mad at you, you’re still all I wanted.. Still all I want. I wish we had figured out the fights so we didn’t have so many unresolved issues still.. Ok this is all to late but I just want you to know im reailzing things. I’m learning and I’m going to put this towards my next relationship and I hope it’s with you. It’s kinda a numbing feelings bc you’re so far away so I can kinda keep you outta my head if I try but it’s still a huge portion of my thoughts. Id leave any conversation or room if I got a call from you right now.. Sorry will never make up for the countless ended calls but know I wish I hadn’t unsure emoticon you’re voice is one of my favorite sounds and I’d want nothing more than to here you say my name or call me babe again.

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