Well, I left this lovely journal alone since April. It is now September 30th… my my, how life can drag you away. But I came back, strange, yes? Well, knowing me it is. Normally I am one of “those” that starts a million different things and never sticks with any of them. The kind of person you hate listening to the radio with, because they constantly change searching for a potentially non-existent “better song”.
So, working towards divorce number two, currently living with the kids on my own, having a glitch in work hours (not because of Obamacare my dear republicans) and am financially…. icky? Yes, I like icky. However, never felt so free, so light, so positive… life is wonderful my dear friends. No, I’m just having a good moment, but I am seriously perkier since the split. I am more appreciative of what’s left in the glass instead of looking to see who drank my tea.
Future plans are dreams I can only hope will come true, big bright flashy perfection. I dare not even describe such wonderful smushy mushy delights, as it might spoil their ability to unfold like a rare bloom. Cheesy huh?
Being free, now means I have to actually fix me. You know, all those millions of things that we beat ourselves up about…. not staying in touch with certain people, not exercising enough, eating right, blah blah make me feel bad, blah. But, it is time. So, since I can’t afford junk food, forced to eat healthy, that one is easy. I can’t buy organic, but it is much cheaper to eat fresh stuff only and no boxed, pre-made, full of unpronounceable ingredients stuff. Exercise? Well, gotta do those manly chores, like taking care of the jungle, a.k.a. the backyard. I kid you not, I have a mini-stroke every morning when I make my coffee, seeing the six-foot tall grass waving in my kitchen window. Which I had my first attempt at mowing the grass today, and it was more fun than cutting barbie-doll hair when I was little! I’m quite excited to start making designs in my lawn, I think I shall start with shapes to keep it simple at first. So, more physical activity, CHECK. Now, contacting friends, being social, having A LIFE. This one is a tad more difficult at the moment. Simply because, money, and time. Don’t have any money, and all my time is spent getting money, so I can have no money. Love being an adult! However, friends may come hang out and that does not cost me money. So, I am planning on a weekly date with my best girl-pal and am trying to talk more online to friends.
Figure those areas are good places to start, been un-living, (kinda like undead), for five years, and for many years before that, really most of my adult life. So, figure it’ll take time to change thought patterns and habits.
Ok, this has turned dreadfully dull, so I’m gonna stop now. Maybe I’ll be back later, or tomorrow, only time will tell.