Monday – ugh!

Today wasn’t too bad.. Emilia was sick like a pup ?? Baby girl kept crying about everything and anything… She woke up from nap crying dah-dah-dah-dah ..is it okay to cry now? This morning I had to explain to Natalie why her daddy wasn’t bring her to school.. That was brutal and tough.. Should I get her therapy? Maybe… She saw her daddy break that damn window.. That stupid damn window – metaphorically that window is my breaking point! No father should out their children in such a compromised position.. They deserve better than to see mom and dad argue and deserve more than to see daddy go off the handle.. I told Natalie that for right now daddy is okay (I honestly don’t even know where or how hes doing, sucks!) and I said that he’s staying with a friend of his right now but when daddy isn’t sad or mad or anything anymore he will see her and her siblings.. They will be able to go on a bike ride (she keeps asking about it) and to go pick that pumpkin and apples… How about crying now? So many memories that we once shared, that feels like he threw down the damn drain because he got mad.. I pray everyday for him, but seriously why god why? Our kids deserve better than this! Help me understand that!

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