Why is it that I possess the ability to fuck a man. Many men. Hot or not and have no feelings. But if a man should sleep beside me I catch feelings and miss them.
I have this tall man on my mind and it vexes me to think I’m just a lay. Maybe I’m too fat. Maybe I’m just not girlfriend material. I don’t know. I didn’t want to over think this but he didn’t have to sleep over. We could’ve just fucked.
But now I’m here at midnight with him on my mind wondering what level I must ascend to to actively ignore someone instead of just saying just hey this is what I’m actually looking for