I mentioned my friend Becca in my last post, about not believing her about her being raped. A few days ago, she tells me that she was robbed. I didn’t believe that either. I just got a call from a strange number, so I let it go to voicemail. It was Becca, sounding very distraught. She said that “This was goodbye.” That she was being forced to go into protection, and had gangs after her, and I wouldn’t hear from her for a very long time.
I don’t believe that either. I wish I could. I wish I could be more sympathetic and a better friend. But, my life is greatly improving. I’m on my way to being very happy and healthy and successful. And I just don’t need anything – ANYTHING- weighing me down. And all of Becca’s drama, whether it’s real or not, really, really bums me out. And while I don’t believe her, I just feel shitty. I know that when I’m in trouble, my friends come running, no matter how petty it is. And I would do the same for Becca, instead of ignoring her calls and texts, if only everything she tells me wasn’t so outlandish. I know that people get raped and robbed all the time. People fall on very hard times. But it just seems that, with her, it’s all one after the other, after the other. All of our mutual friends that have stopped being friends with her have told me that I don’t need to hang out with her. Chris said that she’s done some “really crazy shit”. She never seemed that crazy when we hung out those handful of times before she moved to Cali. It wasn’t until recently that this all started happening.
Am I selfish for feeling this way and for wanting to cut ties?