I Have To Change…

I am always told I need to change. (This is basically about family issues.) I, like most kids now-a-days, like to curse sometimes.  I was once told you only sound stupid if you curse all the time, now they tell me I have to give it up all together or they’ll punish me.  Now, I can understand why they wouldn’t like “bad words” but I have no problem with it.  So I only do it around my friends now.  My parents found out twice and they are PISSED.  Is there any way I can be better at hiding it?  I don’t feel like cursing is really a bad thing anymore.  I don’t wanna give it up just for them.

I don’t wanna be what they want me to be either.  When I was younger, they were hoping I’d be a pure little Christian girl.  Maybe they were hoping I’d be a virgin forever too –  At least, they made it seem that way.  They act like sex is an abomination.  I think that’s partially why they trust my 13 year old brother more than me.  He gets things much easier… I love him but to be honest, he’s kind of a jerk sometimes.  I know if I told him that he’d go tell on me and then I’d be grounded again.  I wish I had a life like his, he has no idea what it’s like being me.  Not that I have it as hard as a kid from a different country but I have it worse than him, and they hate to say that.  Yeah… and when I was younger – going through puberty – and experiencing depression, I’d complain a lot about my life and how I felt about things.  They loved to use the “you have no right to complain because you have amazing parents like us who don’t starve you” thing on me.

If I don’t stop now, I won’t ever stop.  So to sum this up I have a lot to complain about in this family.

One thought on “I Have To Change…”

Leave a Reply