more idiots

i’ve dealt with 3 types of idiots today.

1- creepers…. you KNOW how much i love those. (eyeroll) creepers are those like-whore asshats that think they’ll get your attention by going through your youtube listings and hitting like on everything they find. it’s REALLY fucking creepy hence the name i gave them. creepy little creepers creeping around hitting like. and they rarely if ever actually SAY anything. they just go down the list and hit that stupid thumbs up button on everything they see with your name on it. dealing with them is relatively easy since most of the idiots that do shit like this have every account on every form of web-media linked. that’s when i go through and block mute and report their creeper ass on every form of media i can find a link to and if they persist on being pesky, i’ll hunt down their IP and drop them an email ‘didn’t think you had THIS linked, now DID you. see how it feels? creepy right? enjoy your block mute and report asshat and try being a little more considerate next time. not everyone is a like whore like YOU so obviously are’ i never hear from any of them again. UNLESS they’re stupid enough to come back as a dupe account and then i can nail their ass for that because THAT constitutes harassment and bullying. no quarter, fuckers.

the second type? racist/sexist/homophobic scumbags spewing their hatred onto other people’s comment sections. those get a block mute and report across the board after i inform them what scum they are. as a t-shirt i read once said ‘ain’t NOBODY got time for THAT shit!’ 😀

the 3rd? another attempt at a drug dealer setting up shop n the street in front of our building around lunchtime. look, you fucking brain-trust rejects, it’s simple. if you go into a residential historical neighborhood in a car that looks WAY nicer than the person driving the damn vehicle? you IMMEDIATELY get my attention and up here on the 3rd floor? i don’t even have to stand up to see right into the driver’s seat and watch your stupid ass place multiple phone calls. considering the fact that every unusual car i see, i make an automatic mental note of. have i ever seen this car before? no? then i’m automatically watching your ass anyway and if you’re stupid enough to drive onto MY street with kentucky plates, then just sit in your car for more than 10 minutes? you’ve already become a target. if you’re REALLY stupid enough to do that in a tooled up fucking escapee from the video game street racer? you don’t even get the 10 minute grace period. no one around here drives shit like that. that isn’t to say we don’t have some high end cars around here. i’m looking at a barely year old blue mercedes right now parked across the street which is owned by my buddy  who i jokingly refer to as ‘Bat boy’ (because he helped me catch the most recent bat incursion…..cute little rascal. we all wanted to keep her as a pet, remember? but she was so stressed out by the chase, i didn’t want to traumatize her.) but gaudy shit with flashing lights, 2/3 tone paint jobs, spoilers, racing stripes and spinning light up rims? oh HELLS ta the mother fucking nah.  (that’d be my NYC sneaking back out LOL pure brooklyn, baby! i do a mean Sly Stalone impression as my neighbor found out the other day much to his amusement)

s this jackass pulls up in a silver car with a spoiler on it and lit undercarriage and sat in the car for more than 5 minutes. <beepbeepbeep beepbeepbeep!> yeah fucker had my attention right away. so i just picked up my cell phone (which i rarely if EVER use for the record) and went out on the balcony, waved both arms frantically util i had his undivided attention and held it up like i was taking a picture, then turned it around, made a big show of pressing 4 buttons (911 and send potentially? nah. off on off on so i’d be ready to speed dial 911 if need be) and grinned, flipped him off, gestured up the road and mimed turning off the phone basically miming ‘you leave right now and i won’t make this call.’ he tore out of here. uh huh. i THOUGHT so. not on my watch scumbag.

you think these imbeciles would LEARN. it’s not like i make any secret of it. get your bullshit out of MY neighborhood and stay out and we won’t have a problem. i don’t go setting up my art studio on YOUR front lawn, now DO i? right. get the fuck out. stay the fuck out. tell all your scumbag friends. morrison avenue is off fucking limits.

nope. not scared. why would i be? what are they going to do? put me out of my misery? please. make sure you have good aim though, fuckers. there’s a little fun side effect of having a disease that rewired my entire central nervous system to miss-read every form out outside stimuli (yeah. cloth is HORRIFICALLY painful most days). see, it makes it so i am unable to feel LEGITIMATE pain stimuli. recall that chunk taken out of my hand by flying glass? didn’t hurt. not even at the time. it bugs me a little because the scar is too tight so i’ve had to slice the damn thing open again and work some salve into it to stretch the tissue across my outside knuckle, but that’s no big deal. and THAT went literally muscle deep. took ALL the skin off that quarter sized spot on my hand. THAT should have hurt like MAD, but i only found out about it when the idiot glazier went ‘you appear to be dripping.’ and i looked and went ‘fuck! i just fucking WASHED this tapestry!’ which i think scared him a bit. so. torture? please. it’d only piss me off and since ALL of my joints hyper extend AND i studied prestidigitation for YEARS, you’d have a HELL OF A TIME keeping me trapped anywhere. so please. tell your scumbag buddies to stay off my block because the pharmacy is CLOSED!

well. i’m almost done with my list today, so i’m going to go eat something real quick and (aww! Zap jut walked over and said ‘muhrrr’ then reached up and patted my ass LOLOLOL) and knock out the rest of my chores for the day so i can get a bit of writing done this evening. cheers!



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