Insecurities

About a three weeks ago my boyfriend of a year left me for someone else 🙁 The fact that he left isn’t what hurts me the most , the fact that he treated me like trash for two weeks before leaving is what hurt me the most…….We were in a long distance relationship for a year and only met twice(in person) before we ended…. I just started college and i feared this is what would have happened and i was correct, how could me moving closer to him (only an hour away) end what i though would last forever ?? ….I’m no angel either , I’ve done my fair share of dirt that he doesn’t know about to this day ….so part of me feels like him moving on is just God’s way of saying “Hey you started it ,now it’s time to reap what you sowed.” i honestly miss him and begged for him for two weeks , but it was honestly to late he had replaced me with someone he didn’t have to do long distance with ….was the other person better than me ?? Not at all he wasn’t as attractive nor was he better in any form …the only thing he could offer my ex lover was his physical presences while i could not do that …and you know what I completely understand …my ex-lover is young and wanted an escape from his family ( who worked him like a dog ) i couldn’t give him that but his new guy can and i hope they are happy i might still be here a little miserable every now and than , but hey im alive right ?? i was blessed with something that many people don’t get everyday …and i thank god for that and i am happy for the life god has given me …i do feel a little sad now and than thinking about my ex-lover …but ill find love one day and have someone who truly loves me …all i ask for is that my ex-lover is happy and safe and stays that way for ever …if our paths cross again it was meant to be …but once i close this door i wouldn’t want our paths to cross again … i would want my life to move on just as he’s has i love you my ex-lover 8.1.14 will forever and always be the most memorable day of my life the day i met someone who truly loved me …but just couldn’t take the distance (which isn’t an excuse) you warned me to leave you alone cause you didn’t want to hurt me cause you knew you wasn’t gonna be loyal any,more at least i know in a way you were trying to save me ,….. i just wish i never gave you a reason too …….

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