October is infant and miscarriage loss month. This is a subject that hits me right in the heart. February 22, 2012 I lost my little angel. I never got to see her face, I never got to hold her, I never got to tell her that I loved her. 20 weeks I carried my little girl. 20 long weeks I got tell feel overwrhelming nerves and joy of becoming a mother. I went baby shopping with my mother and sister. I had everything but clothes for my little angel. On a wednesday my best friend and I went in for my ultra sound. I was excited to hear her heart beat and get more pictures of her. But when the ultra sound tech turned the screen away from me and I couldnt hear her heart beat I knew something was wrong. With tears in her eyes she told me I had to go speak to my OBGYN. So as i sat in the waiting room I felt like I couldnt breath, like the room was crashing around me. Then they gave me the heart shaddering news that my little angel did not make it. That is something you never come back from, yes I may have never truly been a mother but its a heart ache that never goes away.