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What am I supposed to be?

Am I supposed to strive to be better? To loose that extra weight, to learn more and more different and new things, to be more compassionate?

Am I supposed to conform to what society says I should be? Do my job without complaint, go to college and study something that will maybe work toward making more money, get into and pay my debts, fall in line?

 

Am I supposed to be happy with who I am right now?

How do I do that? What is “happy”? How do I know when I’ve attained it? Will I not hurt anymore? Will I not care what people think of me? Will I turn off my brain and go through life with a goofy smile and no worry?

 

 

I wish someone had the answers to give to me.

One thought on “What am I supposed to be?”

  1. SilentQueen —

    Wow, so many questions! Many of the answers you will have to figure out for yourself, but I can tell you one thing:

    There’s no such thing as “being happy” for any longer than a moment. Something happens, or you see something, and for that moment you are happy, maybe even rapturous. Then life its ownself resumes, and that supremely happy moment is part of your past.

    That’s as it should be. When people speak of “being happy”, what they really mean, I think, is being content. Being without trouble. That too won’t happen on a permanent basis. Sh!t happens, you deal, and life goes on. This is true for everyone.

    No, there’s no law that says you must conform to what society says you should be. That could lead to real unhappiness.

    I think you know how you feel about the rest, or at least, the beginning of how you feel. The writer Ernest Hemingway said, “A moral act is something that, when you do it, you feel good after.” If you lose a pound or five, how does that make you feel? If you eat a doughnut, how does that make you feel? Those are clues.

    Don’t be so hung up on “supposed”. “Supposed” is a god-awful word. Craft your own “supposed to’s”, and let the rest go.

    Nobody will care about how your life turns out more than you. The people you may sacrifice your own happiness to please will be long gone living their own lives, while you’re stuck holding the bag.

    I can tell that you are way smart enough to sort all this out. I wish you well.

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