Entry 6 – 10/23/15
23:10 – in my room
Yeah, it’s me again. I feel weird. Like, not scared, nut almost. Lonely maybe. Like I really need someone to hold me right now. Not just anyone, my mom.
Don’t worry. I’m not that kind of girl. I just…I don’t know…it happens to me sometimes. Does that make me weird ?
Oh god. I’m anxious now. Stressed. I hate this feeling. Just like when I have too much to do and not enough time. Most time, I make it all up in my head. Stress about time. Often even cry about it. Then realize it was all for nothing. I’m talking about school work here. Yep…maybe I am the freak everyone thinks I am.
ps. I’m not actually going to sleep. Just going to read until I die of sleepiness because I am never going to finish it in time for Tuesday.
ps 2. I have so much to do it’s not even funny. I have to start (and finish) a TOK project tomorrow, almost finnish a book I am starting just now, do a German assignment AND go to a class my mom has booked for me. Like I don’t have enough activities outside of school ! I mean, I have no time for myself ! None. Tuesday is climbing, Wednesday is the piano, Thursday is yoga, language lessons are randomly thrown at me during the week and I have girl scouts on some weekends. I am seriously starting to hate my life. I feel like I have no fun, no excitement. Can’t I just be like any other normal teenage girl and have, I don’t know, a boyfriend and friends that meet to talk about hair and makeup and other stuff I am not involved with ? Can’t I just go to parties like anybody else ? No. I can’t cause I’m stupid me. I’m the geek who reads books all night.
I just…I’m tired of being me. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Comment 🙂