Outcast

I feel like such an outsider. My boyfriend lives far away and lives his own life. I have a total of 5 friends at my school. I hate myself and everything about me. No one likes me or wants to spend time with me. I hate being alone because I’m scared of myself. Everyone just makes me feel bad and I have a horrible self-image of myself. I just wish I could be the person I want and people would love me for it. I just want to fit in and be that person that everyone loves. I wish I could just have that and see what it’s like. I just want to be happy again.

2 thoughts on “Outcast”

  1. I’ve been there. Keep your head up. Talk to people. I know exactly how you feel having only a handful of friends and feeling like you don’t fit in. You may fit in more than you think. If you feel like an outsider, you’ll become an outsider. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t let that happen. Try and make friends. But no one wants to be friends with someone who’s always down on themselves. Put on a smile and be friendly, even if you don’t feel that way. Eventually it’ll stick. And if you have a boyfriend, even if he’s far away, then you know he loves you and will be there for you. If there’s something you can change about yourself that’s getting you down, better yourself! I used to be a fitness model, and gained 70 lbs in the last 2 years. Recently single, It’s time for me to work on my self image too and get myself healthy again. Keep your head up. Only you can control how you feel, no one else.

  2. Devin is right, keep your head up. You are in high school and it can be a confusing and mentally exhausting battle. With changes in hormones and becoming more and more independent can mix things up as well. When you can, just find what makes you happy, something that does not depend on others. I have felt that way before, I was even deeply depressed until I was 24. I had just a few friends, my dad and step mom had pretty much considered me dead and I them, my mom was self absorbed, so no family really, and at 24 I had a failed marriage that almost cost me my life. It was finding what made me happy and I still have to work from time to time on focusing on the glass half full. I have been overall happy with life. It is knowing that you must find happiness with yourself and not let others or the outside decide your happiness. Only you can depend on you and only you can make you happy. Everything else will lead to disappointment.

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