Another woman, griping how she does everything around the house…

Here it is…yet another woman griping (bitching, complaining, over reacting, whatever you want to call it) about how she feels like she does everything around the house with very little help from her boyfriend.

I work a full time job. Yes, I sit on my ass all day as he likes to put it while he is out on his feet working long hours. So, we both work. We both have two days off a week. I get the whole weekend off and he gets one weekend day and one week day.

Yet, I feel like I take care of 98% of the work around the house. I rarely ask him to do anything and when I do, I can expect a week to go by before I find myself doing it. Whenever I am talking to him about things that need to be done around the house I always say “I” have to do the laundry or “I” have to clean the bathroom. I never say “we” anymore. Because it isn’t true. I even correct myself if I say “we”.

He works long hours a lot of the times and that is his excuse I get when I ask him to help or when I comment that I do most of the work. But is it fair for me to get 100 % of the house work because he works longer hours than I do? If I were a stay at home girlfriend, no problem! I would do everything….like I already do, just without complaint. But I work too. I spend my evenings and most of my weekends cleaning, doing the odds and ends, doing laundry, picking up his kids, helping them with homework, making sure they do their chores, cooking dinner, etc. Some Mondays and Tuesdays I don’t even get to rest until they go to bed.

What would it take to get him to help? Do I need to make him a chore chart as well? It’s sounds very belittling, but what is it going to take?

Saturday, I slept in. I guess I needed it. I was the last one awake and one of the first things said to me was “what’s for breakfast?”. This set my mood for the day which has led me up to this rant today. Also on Saturday, I have been asking my bf to hang shelves in the living room and asked that he take care of them that day. Guess who ended up hanging them? This girl. His response “you did a good job hanging the selves”. Well, I already KNOW that! What I wanted to hear was “sorry, I know you have been waiting on me to hang them”. I also buried the mole deferrer in the yard like I have been waiting on him to do.

I’ve been waiting two weeks for him to look at the broken vacuum. I have mentioned buying a new vacuum in hopes he will fix the damn broken one, but no. I don’t want to have to buy a new one (a CHEAP one) when the $300 one we have could possibly be fixed. I guess I will put that on my to do list too.

I don’t want to split the household work 50/50. I would be happy with 70/30. I don’t expect him to dust and vacuum, but it would be so helpful if he helped me to keep things picked up and put away. It would make my 70% so much easier if I didn’t have to spend so much time straightening everything up before I can get down to the deep cleaning.

Rant is over…for now.




4 thoughts on “Another woman, griping how she does everything around the house…”

  1. Oh Boy! I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I do everything as well. I finally got to the point where I only do what I need. So after my laundry is done and folded and his is STILL there, I just reply “I am your girlfriend, not your maid. If you do not respect that I will not help anymore. I do the little things because I care. Now that it is abused, I will stop doing them”

  2. I stopped doing his laundry once and he tried to make me feel bad about it. I tried only cleaning up after myself but it wasn’t for fair to me to live in a messy house because no one else wanted to clean. I think I will try a different approach. I asked him the other night to set the table while I was making dinner and he never got off the couch to do so. I did. But next time, when I serve dinner, we will eat off the table until he sets it. I am going to start asking him to do even more. I just hope it doesn’t back fire and only give me more things to add to his “haven’t done” list.

  3. it’s not easy being the one who does everything ! but dont stop askig him to do things because you are not his maid you are his girlfriend he should try to help you , keep complaining to him and let’s all hope he changes … good luck

  4. Last night I changed the rules when it comes to dinner. One kid sets the table, I cook, the other kid clears the table and the boyfriend cleans the dishes. Everyone did their job without complaint. I sat back and watched all of the busy bodies doing work and it was amazing! It felt so good to get that help. Kind of sad…isn’t it? That something like this would brighten my night…

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