Splitting the kids time…how do you make it work?

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years now. He has two kids. One’s in second grade and the other in fifth grade. We have them two nights a week – from one evening ’til the following night, twice. When I first met my boyfriend, having dinner at the table wasn’t something they often did. A lot of the times, they would eat different meals. When it came to homework, he would tell them to do it and ask them if it was done, but he didn’t check it. He wasn’t making sure they brushed their teeth and their bedtime changed every night. He always figured their mom made them shower. Since she had them most of the time, he assumed she took care of that department. He was more of a babysitter than a father. I’m not trying to say he doesn’t love his kids and he doesn’t care, he is just lazy. But after I moved in with him and the kids had accepted me as a mother figure, things had to change. They needed to practice better hygiene (not because they stunk – they didn’t/don’t – but these habits will stay with them as they grow), have their home work checked, eat home cooked meals at the table, do chores. I feel I am the one who follows through with it the most.

It’s hard to say what kind of schedule their mom keeps with them. Sometimes they shower, some times they brush their teeth, etc. I know they don’t sit down and eat together. When the kids tell us they like staying with us better because it feels more like a family, it’s heart breaking. It makes me feel like I have to work harder to make sure they have stability in their life.

It seems as though I am seeing the bigger picture more than their mom, and yes, their dad (my bf). I am thinking of how all of these things will affect them as they grow older.

They’re great kids. They’re kind and happy.

Am I thinking too much in to it? Am I trying too hard? I want the kids to be happy and self sufficient as they grow older. Honestly, I cant seem to put into words how my heart feels. I feel like I am trying to teach them stability and routine and everyone else is a little more on the relaxed side. I could be wrong.

I don’t know what exactly I am trying to say here I guess…I guess I can only do what I can do and hope that they are in fact in a good routine at their moms.


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