focus. fuckus.

one incident i remember clearly involved me getting off the school bus. i was in the middle between two other kids yet was suspended from the bus for not walking far enough out for the driver to see me. regardless of the fact there were two other kids in front and behind me the bus driver noticed me not being at the appropriate distance.


this is one example in a life long scene were i feel im picked out of the crowd and made an example of. even today in meetings at work. im called upon as if i  “have a question”. i dont claim a persecution complex but until you see it you dont understand. im usually made the example and get the short end of the stick.

i asked my mother recently why i would feel im a focus at times and she says its because i have an approachable face and people tend to gravitate towards me. that in a group i stand out from the crowd and that makes me an easy target.

this focus has left me wanting to keep my distance and makes me question..

is it always good to stand out in the crowd?

im going to have to say no.

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