I am usually in an unhappy, moody funk more often than I am happy. I don’t know why. A chemical imbalance maybe? I tried the Thrive thing people are swearing by. There were a lot of testimonials saying how energetic and happy they have felt since starting it. 60 days later and over $300 down the drain and I felt no change. I decided to get my thyroid checked and it was fine. It was around the time of the doctors visit that I seemed to snap out of it. I was happy and content for almost two entire months. Then this past Saturday, I started noticing the funk slowly invading my mood again. I was the last one to wake and the first thing said to me was “what’s for breakfast”. Since then, I have been playing situations out in my head where I am yelling at my boyfriend to help me more around the house. But it’s not just in my head that he isn’t helping around the house, he really isn’t helping around the house. I am getting angry with him for making me do everything. I get angrier as the hours go by and I am cleaning the house while he is watching TV. He said he needs some time to “wake up”, but does it really take 4 hours to wake up?!?! I get it that as soon as my feet hit the floor I am making everyone breakfast and cleaning and he needs time to fully wake up. But how can he sit there knowing I am cleaning up after everyone, washing everyone’s clothes, cleaning up messes we all contributed to, and be OK with watching tv? He doesn’t budge. Doesn’t even blink an eye. I couldn’t do that. I have tried to sit and do nothing while he works on something and I cant. I just cant sit there being lazy while he works. It doesn’t feel right. If he is out mowing the lawn (which he did twice this summer, I mowed it all the other times) I feel I should be up working too.
I called him today to remind him of some things he needs to take care of since he has the day off. His things by the way. Like, the last sheet of paper that he needs to sign so that his divorce can be finalized. TWO checks that need to be written to pay HIS bills that he has been putting off. Why can’t he just write the friggin’ checks already? WTF?? Clearly I am getting angrier as I write this. I just don’t get it! But back to the real subject of this entry. My mood. Him not taking care of his financial responsibilities shouldn’t affect me this way. I shouldn’t let it. But it is building up inside.
It’s time I have a chat with him or else the funk will take me over. Or will it? I am still trying to figure out what causes it. I just don’t want to be unhappy again 🙁